


Quacks-PennyDreadful Crossover - Once

by clarice82art



Category: Penny Dreadful (TV), QUACKS, Quacks BBC
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, F/M, Hate, Love, Medicine, Rare Characters, Rare Fandoms, Rare Pairings, Romance, Sex, Victorian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2018-12-25 07:23:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12030990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarice82art/pseuds/clarice82art
Summary: Did you ever wonder how John Clare became who he was? How Victor Frankenstein made him 'his creature'? And who he was before Penny Dreadful?Well since there is a brilliant new Mini-series called Quacks ( https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/quacks/) - featuring again the wonderful and brilliantly Mr. Rory Kinnear as Robert Lessing, I really loved the thought of - what if...?What if someone would crossover these two amazingly series which are both set in Victorian London?





	1. Once

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning! Contains enormous spoilers of the first season of Quacks!**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you ever wonder how John Clare became who he was? How Victor Frankenstein made him 'his creature'? And who he was before Penny Dreadful?
> 
> Well since there is a brilliant new Mini-series called Quacks ( https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/quacks/) - featuring again the wonderful and brilliantly Mr. Rory Kinnear as Robert Lessing, I really loved the thought of - what if...?
> 
> What if someone would crossover these two amazingly series which are both set in Victorian London?

  


  
  


**Warning! Contains enormous spoilers of the first season of Quacks!**

A skillful, arrogant and quick-witted showman. His operations are quite literally ‘theatrical events’ to which  
awestruck doctors and members of the public flock. He can take a leg off in 92 seconds.  
Robert’s becoming famous – he’s almost as good as he thinks he is. And he loves it. His desire for self-gain can make him manipulative and pompous but despite his self-regard, there is also a pioneering spirit to Robert, born out of a desire to do good. He really wants to save lives. He just wants all the credit afterwards too…

What Robert couldn't reach within 92 seconds and even seemed to be blind about were the concerns and needs of his wife Caroline - A woman, clever, bright, passionate, charming, sensitive, funny, very educated and with a very distinctive instinct for the necessity of the social/medical changes of society. Mrs. Lessing was  
angry about the men 'ruling the world' and women having no chance served to arrange themselves as doctors, to educate in this connection and even to make it public. At the top of this ignorance - her husband! But he didn't just think that the ideas of his wife were ridiculous, he also remained blind for her personal wishes for affection and love.As a result his wife giving herself to the affection of Robert's best friend - William Argar - a fresh psychiatrist - which he willingly accepted as well. 

Caution was advised and yet after a while, Robert became suspicious about his wife's unnatural behavior. He confronted Caroline about it whereupon she explained him that she wanted a divorce, without giving him the 'true' reasons - to run away and start a new life with her new aroused and love-drunk euphoria with her new chosen one William. In his distress Robert devoted himself to the sole, empathetic person he knew - his best friend - William himself! Unsuspecting of putting him in a dilemma, he thankfully took the advice he passionately offered, albeit not in the extents of the understanding William strived for, without noticing Will's true drive - Robert even admitted that he still loves his wife from the full heart, but didn't know how to handle these kinds of things. As well as being ashamed of having problems with being the perfect lover at night.

But Robert tried overtly, which surprised Caroline as much as it made her glad.  
But all his trying should be in vain as his patience ran out over the crazy thoughts and goals of his spouse that just went to far! It followed a loud disagreement where both parties in their emotional outrage nevertheless spurred the flame of a 'new fire' and Robert finally put the 'wild passion' to the day that Caroline wished so hard for.

Now and without Caroline's knowledge, William, who earlier adviced her to forget her Liaison and to rather leave her heart to her husband, agreed to marry Mina. Since early childhood days she has been a friend of the family but now, with her fake self-sacrifical caring for his father (on the health and financial side), is forcing William to this decision.  
William also decided to not tell his heart's true love what he was going to do, leaving London including. Thus he asked Caroline for a final, secret meeting. Not in a rented carriage that could make Robert suspicious like before, but in a small inn at the edge of London. To do this Mrs. Lessing pretends to have joined a church group that wanted to hold a bazaar outside of London. Maybe the belief in God would help her get over those 'senseless thoughts'. Robert sure believed it.  
At the inn it came to the inevitable and they spent the long-awaited night together, after which William finally told her Everything about his future and both of them realised this would be their last night together, since destiny seemed to have paved separate roads for them. 

Besides, the impulsive excess of Mr. Agar and Mrs. Lessing should not remain without consequences, just 6 weeks later Caroline would be (finally) of good, official hope. Of course Robert thought that HE was the proud producer of these wonderful news. With this great message Robert wasn't able to be more proudly by his fate and even before the birth he was already sure that his dominate gender had generated an also dominant successor. Caroline herself wasn't sure if it would really turn out to be a boy - how would she? What was cerain for her nevertheless - It was not Robert's child! She hoped that his expectations would not disappoint, albeit she would be happy about a girl as well! This maybe could hide their shameful adultery in time... 

In spite of the good turn of the Lessing's family life, William was hit by the announcement of the offspring from them, just like Caroline was by his decision to enter the state of marriage, while it pleased Robert exceedingly and he wished all the good for his best friend. Of course he immediately offered himself as a witness (Along with John - the long-sanding common friend, anaesthetists and dentist of the trio) for this magnificent event, which William could decline impossibly. In a small, secret minute he dared to ask her if the expected child was from him, after their very passionate night. The brunette lied and assured that she had already been pregnant before their meeting, thanks to their stormy incident with her husband on their small, however fine - causeuse classic. 

Pregnant and with Mina's reluctance, who knew very well about the affair between her husband-to-be and Mrs. Lessing, Caroline attended the neatly arranged wedding with her own husband and Mr. John Sutton. After all, William would move with his new wife to the countryside to his father's house to care about him and his new matrimonial 'duties'.

Caroline accepted the circumstances and concentrated more on her role as a mother, which she will finally fill in a few months. On the 25th of May 1846 the long anticipated son was born from the man she couldn't be with, and yet got still named William. Robert insisted on naming the child after his best friend - in his way of thinking it was to William's merit that he got to be father in the first place! Never was he more right...  
The boy's middle name got to be Jack, after Caroline's father. The family's friend John got a bit disappointed over the fact that he wasn't considered for a namesake. Robert promised him faithfully, after having put his 'manliness' to the test, that soon a second son shall be on his way and he will be named John.  
Though once again, Robert kept his distance to his wife and deprived of certain corporealities and other affections, that he himself lauded to at first. But since Caroline was delirious with joy over her imminent Child (the only thing that would still connect her to her beloved William and nobody could take away from her!) she couldn't help but feel anything but dismay.

Alas, the joys of motherhood should not be long with Caroline, as Robert decided to take the child's upbringing into his own hands (still not knowing it wasn't even his) and teaching him as early as possible everything he'll need to know about work. Caroline was less than thrilled about that. In her opinion no child should ever be met with such butchering and brutality at such a young age. Consequently her son slipped away from her more and more and didn't just adapt the way of thinking of his father figure but also his behaviour. Boastful, arrogant, narcissistic, and confident to no end in himself and his skills he 'shines' already at the ripe age of 6 and seemed to possess greater knowledge than some men thrice his age. 

It seemed that the child had inherited nothing of his real producer besides the confidence to succeed with the things he did. Even his appearance went more to his mother's side (And because both parents had deeply brown eyes) which became the child's advantage for its own security. William received possibly the best private education and with that, avoided his mother's love more and more which he (Just like his father) thought was TOO emotional and cheeky, and in a brazen act with her first inherit to stand on the same step with the adult men. Thus he began, not even 8 years old, to reprove his mother and to bring her into her place with her 'impossible' way of thinking. To make her out as ridiculous and TOO imaginative. Even in front of friends and strangers! This shouldn't displease his 'father' - On the contrary!

Deeply hurt about the magnitude change of her beloved child which seemed to now slipped away finally (In spite of all her motherly efforts), she dared to write a letter to the person who always understood and supported her, the true father of her son - William Argar!

It had been 7 years since the last time they saw each other and William, together with his wife, visited them in London and who prohibited the contact with the Lessing strictly. During this time he became father himself. Two daughters were given to him which he loved most deeply and made the chain between him and Mina more narrowed, nevertheless they came very much after their mother and tugged a lot on his sensitive patience. Besides, both his father and his mother had passed away in time, which made the loneliness inside the rustic, marital prison in which he lived even bigger. His joyful and big delight about the letter of a former friend was no big surprise and welcomed! In order to follow her, William used a pretext to travel to London for a meeting which Caroline asked for in her letter. Caroline needed no excuse in order to get out since her husband and son were too busy with themselves and their 'career'. Not just that - they even resumed there where they had stopped for all these years, where the old flame was still burning. 

This time not as passionate in order to avoid the old 'mistake'. However, it should be enough to bring up a fatale turn.  
On the way home, as Caroline passed (her) William in his carriage which was in a side lane, it should come to her son William Jack seeing how someone, who's face he couldn't identify, kissed his mother's hand from a carriage window. It made Mrs. Lessing smile and blush, and to put the crown on top in addition to lean herself into the window and... Oh ~ He didn't dare to even think about more...!  
Shaken about the shameful behaviour of his mother he searched his poor cheated father and immediately informed him about everything he saw in detail! And he should take the necessary action for the conclusion!

Immediately he started his way home, as well as Caroline (who chose a long way round) so that her excuse wouldn't lose its credibility. However, it seemed like it's what destiny wanted, that his best friend William was on his way home, or rather his coachman, almost bowled over an upset Robert on the street, as he walked with his 'son' directly before the horse. Robert recognized his friend, who leaned out of the window very fightend, as his carriage suddenly stopped and the horses started to neigh. Robert, who also got away with a fright, saw that this lift came just in time and on which he and young William entered into the carriage. His best friend didn't understand why the surgeon was so angry and all of a heap, but Robert pledged that he would explain everything when the arrived 'home' on which the psychiatrist bowed and drove them both home. On the way home he realised how big William Jack had become and how well-behaved he seemed. 

Failed would fit better, as it should turn out!  
When they just hardly reached the house of the Lessings and had entered it, the carriage of Caroline arrived as well. She did not have the suspicion about the presence of her lover William, since a rent carriage of her resembled others and she assumed that her husband (And maybe even her son) would've been home already.  
How true...  
Robert mooched like a wild animal angry back and forth, wheezed and clenched up his fists, while Will Junior waited calmly and almost proudly for his actions and with a track of anticipation about the things that may come. Mr. Argar did not understand and also wouldn't get a clear statement from his medical friend, who just gabbled unclear, growling stuff.  
Until he heard the front door and the voice of his better half which presently made him flare up!  
He tore the door open in direction of the hall, almost stormed out of the door towards Caroline, who just made it up the stairs. Hardly Robert grabbed her arm and hissed that he wished to speak with her in their bedroom, in which he dragged her without waiting for her approval. 

William 'Senior' couldn't believe what happened around him and especially how...  
Fear grabbed him, fear therefore what HE would have done to his beloved Caroline, now that Robert seemed to know about them?! But what should he do? Did Robert really noticed something? No, impossible... otherwise he wouldn't be here? Otherwise Robert would have reacted in a different way towards him or not?  
But if not, what was it then that made him react so aggressive towards his wife? Since he never experienced his friend like THIS.  
Above all... should he interfere? Rush to help his love? In front of William Jack? Get himself in front of her?  
No, it was best not to do that! Robert wouldn't become to the last extremity and inexpressible?! Currently he was just a bit - overtaxed...  
Should the situation taper to a point however, he swore himself to interrupt, as a man of honour to help the lady in need. - like every decent man would do, or possibly not? 

Only Lessing's offspring was the calm himself, although he heard very well how his father handled his mother, the way he spoke and what he could do with her, as he could heard it from his father's tone of voice....  
In the following second he only heard the door to the sleeping room of his old man being slammed loudly and locked, on which he involved his 'Uncle Will' in a conversation and asked him to go towards the window. For the psychiatrist, the 10 year old's behaviour seemed very suspicious. How could he act as if there was peace instead of war? 

He carefully questioned what the problem was between his father and his spouse (Worried of course) and just gained a wide, almost amused grin of the younger one while two rooms further someone definetly lost their laughter!

Caroline defended herself and tried to get of her husband's grip as well as to ask him what this whole thing would mean, she wouldn't know him this way. Instead of an appropriate answer she felt a burning pain on her face within a second. Horrified she looked up, trying to attach a word before she felt another heat on her cheek right away and in the next moment, finding herself with the belly on the bed. Robert, in his obsessive rage, opened his trousers hectically and assaulted on his wife without incessantly violently. With panic in her bones and tears in her eyes she did not even had the possibility to shout, since Robert hold his hand over her mouth and bretahless whispered that, if a wretched lying whore like her would give the slightest sound of hersel or even yell out for help, she would experience a nasty surprise since he would know about their (Once again) affair!  
Caroline's eyes wided and her thoughts automatically went to William!  
Robert told her that William Jack saw her as she offered herself at one carriage on broad daylight. Letting her hand lapped and even worse, completely without some morality!  
But also that he should have know it, since she already acted insolent before her son was begotten. As well as she should be thankful that all these years ago, William (Argar) advised him to forgive her, to fight for her and to give their love another chance before she would get a divorce, otherwise he'd already given her a lesson that time, what it would mean to dupe Robert Lessing and to make him a fool!  
This admission however broke the dams of the nearly 50 year-old. Because this meant that Robert (thank god) still didn't know anything about her and William, yet it broke her heart since she would have never believed that her own child would betray her so disgracefully, no matter how big the influence of her husband had been! So probably that William (Argar) knew everything about what Robert did and also why. But didn't do nor tell her anything!  
Also now?


	2. Part II

After Robert taught his wife a, as he thought, much needed lesson he returned back to the room his son and friend were waiting. Clearly worn-out and untidy in his clothes it was obvious what Robert did. William (Argar) swallowed hardly and didn't want to believe that his friend would really be able to do something like this, as he informed them that the problem was solved and Caroline wished to rest. With a friendly put on smile he asked the psychiatrist for an excuse and invited him for dinner which he thankfully denied, with the excuse that Mina and his girls were probably waiting for him! 

Of course Robert understood, didn't think anything about it, hold the 'appearance' that everything was at its best order and passed the friend up to soon!   
In the carriage however, and hardly that William was far enough from the house of the Lessing, he started to cry bitterly. How he could let this happen to his love? Why didn't he intervened when he had the opportunity? And why did it seemed like Will Junior liked such a violation? But what could he have done? What should he have said without making Caroline's situation even worse? Nevertheless, he knew one thing for sure - SOMETHING LIKE THIS would never happen again! He was such a coward! No, he could never forgive himself for THIS! 

The days passed anew. Differently than usual, Mrs. Lessing had withdrawn very strongly. For the first time in her life she was glad that she and her husband owned separate bedrooms. She would've never believed that Robert would do such a thing... She always thought that behind the hard shell would be a soft, vulnerable core, but no monster! Caroline however should, in spite of her old age (46y.) hold back a memory of the event, which was anything but reminiscently this time! But differently than William, she was not happy about this child. How should she? If one considered the core of its origin! But maybe it was good this way? Maybe it was her 'punishment' for disgracefully cheating on her husband whom she had sworn everlasting loyalty in front of god and who had always supplied her and her son?! 

Also Robert was not quite gushed by joy as well when he found out that his wife would be of good hope again. Certainly it proved that HE still owned the enormous male potential, but why fill up another mouth when he already could call the best son someone imagine his own? But as a 'gifted' doctor he hoped for Caroline to quickly lose this child due to her old age. It'd be the best! Also because it wouldn't constantly remind him of the iniquity of his better half when he 'had' to assault her! 

For the time being, William (Argar) should not give a sign of life from himself and therefore also straight away, as well as not find out that Caroline was pregnant once again in the following months. Just by Robert and his good friend John he learned about the bothering that would end in a few weeks, which didn't 'surprise' him as much as expected. Caroline however did not take care of a contact with the psychiatrist since the circumstances gave her enough of a hard time. Despite of her gentle nature it was difficult to let this child into her heart. Even though the birth approached briefly she had not wasted her thoughts about a name for the child (According to gender). Even the father did not bother about it, nor the so praised big brother. 

Like the months before, she spent most of the time inside the house - alone. She didn't have a real circle of friends besides the ones of William and John, since most of 'London's Ladies' were too abnorm in her imaginations and fantasies of the life of a woman/wife. Thus it came that one night she gave birth all alone due to her maid not being available at that evening and Robert... well he dealt with 'more important' things... just like William Jack!   
Thanks to the fact however that she already gave birth and had a highly medical knowledge, she managed to give birth a second, undamaged and healthy offspring of the Lessing's without any help, exactly at midnight. On 17.02 of the year 1757 - the same birthday like her husband! It was another boy! Caroline supplied him with the most necessary, but reserved herself to take for him.

The little mite slumbered in the cradle which once belonged to William while his mother sat on the ground and stared before her. In contrast to her infant, the birth took a lot from and above all weakened her. She unnaturally lost a lot of blood which was clearly revealed in the varnish from her bed. She had trouble breathing and her chest ached.   
Thus she did not notice how Robert (After he extensively celebrated his great day) found her and 'mercifully' laid her back to bed (Somehow). The child, drunk like he was (Once again) did not examin himself this evening.   
Only the next morning, as the maid was presented again and provided for Mrs. Lessing to get a freshly referred bed, he entered her room again. Together with William Jack. Nonetheless she didn't tell her husband anything about her suffering - it would pass again and it was probably just the circumstances of birth due to her age! 

The little one still lay in his cradle and slept while the others started to scrutinize him. No joy was seen on any of the faces, already because Robert's 'plan' to not feed another child has failed. But also the older brother couldn't do anything with the little mite, certainly not when it began to cry due to all the noise the adults made. William Jack felt it rather extremely annoying and started to shake the crade, which just made thy crying worse. In spite of her continuously motherly blockade Caroline right away asked her oldest to refrain from it which he ignored nevertheless. This however led to Robert, annoyed by all the racket (with his hangover), to hit the cradle which filled Caroline with an impulse and made her immediately stand up and hurry to the cradle. Protecting she took the screaming bundle and, almost threatening, hissed at her husband and son, that if they dare to treat her little one like this again they would regret it! 

Despised about this impudent threat, Robert straight away left the room and took his first (And only true) son with him. This should be just right for Caroline, because hardly when they were alone again she stared into the big blue eyes of the little bundle in her arms she realised that she had made a huge mistake. How could she?   
How could she let this small and innocent soul pay for the things she was to blame for?  
Finally she had the chance for a child that would not be snatched by somebody! Which she could fully care for with her love and that would be her biggest treasure! But how should she name it?

However, this question was taken from her within seconds as Robert pulled his head into the room once again and informed her that he would organise the baptism for the following day and that the child would be named John. Just like he promised his friend back then. Not that he cared about holding this promise, he did not have the delight for unnecessary discusses nor even debates. Besides, this boy wouldn't interest him in anyway so it didn't matter which name he would end up with! 

Next day of the year 1757, the little one should be christened in the presence of his family and his godfather John Sutton - on John Robert Lessing. Why Robert as an addition? Well the dentist thought that it would be incomplete without a second name, just like with William Jack, and suggested to name him after his 'proud' father on which Robert agreed eye-rolling while Caroline remained quiet, just in order to get this quickly above the stage. The absence of her friend William Argar was excused with him being busy enough with own familiar things, although the truth was rather that he wasn't informed of this quickly arranged event! John would've probably informed William about it later...

From now on Mrs. Lessing was besotted with her small John and covered him with her love. The love she looked for his father and brother in vain. And nevertheless he always remained friendly and excused his mother's behavior quite often. Even if Robert unmistakably made clear WHO his favourite son was, who would become his heir and who made him, above all, more proudly... John had his mother and that was enough to make him happy! From there he only received a rather simple, basic education in the contrast like his once high-class brother who was meanwhile in his medicine study. In the end, he should step in the famous footsteps of his old man one day! 

For John's luck, here and there his mother secretly taught him some things his father should never to know about. Though she paid attention that it wouldn't get out of control, however her sweetheart should not be regarded as stupid as Robert like to see him! One however ascertained that the youngest Lessing had no interest in medicine and science and that he got a taste for crafting ships (like his father). The sea and the boat trips were his passion and he hoped that one day, when he got old enough, he could go out on the sea and to see more of the world! This wish was encouraged by his beloved mommy who told him that his grandfather on the mother's side, Jack Rupert Flowers was an enthusiastic mariner in his youth himself and that he, when she was a little girl, took her often to the sea to watch the sunset and listen to his stories. Every evening before he went to sleep, Caroline told her sweetheart a story and was glad to see the child's shining eyes before these fell asleep. Little John may haven't been blessed with a genius mind like his ingeniously big brother, but with an even bigger heart. Besides, he was anything but dumb! In contrast to Will, John understood many things right away although often rather in silence. The older he got the more it became clear to him who and what in this world was value and who/what wasn't! 

Thus John noted that, with the years and almost day by day, his mother felt worse and worse. His difficult birth had pulled on her health more than she wanted to admit. Caroline however never lost a word about her suffering. Especially not in front of Robert nor Will and particularly not in front of her angel John! He was the light of her life and just for him she had to remain strong as long as it was possible! Yet he rather quickly realised that his mother (Meanwhile 59.y) tormented herself and began to look after care for her as good as he could, at the age of just 12 years. William however seemed to like shoo the younger one like a servant when they were among themselves, with the threat of telling mother of father something about it which would unnecessarily burden Caroline even more! And so John obeyed.   
This kind of tortue should find an abrupt end when William (He now was 27 y.), before he could finish his study (In which he unfortunately didn't scintillate as one had expected!) fell ill with cholera. The causes? While Will exceptionally took John to one of his public test-operations for impoverished volunteers, the older asked, due to such an extreme heat, for a glass of water that day. John brought him one, but didn't pay attention from which decanter he scooped it out due to the hectic rush. Even thought William quickly realised what he was drinking and spitted most of it out immediately, however it was enough to seal his destiny! 

Of course he solely blamed John for this which his father (After he got the incident described) completely supported. Merely Caroline was against it and tried to persuade her husband that it was not John's fault, she even swore to god that he didn't do this on purpose! It didn't help at all! Three days later the first symptoms appeared by gastroenteritis. As a 'punishment', John was all the more be put by Will's side. Caroline protested once again, but John did not defend himself and even agreed to the wish (order) of his father, because he knew that his mother would look after his brother instead which would've meant her death due to her quite weak health condition! Unlike everyone else, John was not so naive to believe that Will, with the methods he and Robert considered, would stay among them for long. But he remained quiet once more. But did the thought of loosing his brother soon touched him that much? As well as which 'he' was responsible for? Yes and no... 

In a way yes - after all William was his brother! On the other side he had to admit - it also would feel like a relief! Since he and the older one did not have what seemed to be the expected among siblings.  
It came like it had to and less than 4 weeks later Will, weakened from his illness, felt into a coma from which he shouldn't wake up anymore and that one night led to a cardiac arrest.


	3. Part III

Obsessed by grief and fury the circumstances led Robert to start to hate his only remained son! Since he's the one who carries the sole responsobility for his hopes and future being taken! 

William Jack was buried in the family crypt of the Lessing's which Robert would visit every day from now on. Enough tormented by his past, his quite remarkable shivering in his hands should be strengnehmend even further after he began to hit the bottle! Everything was lost! Since he could not practise for a long time himself. What should he do? Couldn't he start 'afresh' again? And with... John? This good-for-nothing! Maybe? After all it was John , who would inherit everything once his time would come as well... 

Of course Caroline mourned for her son too, but without making John the scapegoat unlike her husband! For that her heart suffered. Over and over she suffered from arrhythmia and pain in her chest which made her collapse two times and forced her not to leave the bed anymore. And again it was John who did not leave her side. She hardly saw Robert anymore, however she clearly heard him when he loudly came home drunk at very late hours. Again and again Robert shouted out loud, threw things around and cursed the day of John's birth which he was always reminded of due to them having the same birthday!

John and his mother could not help themselves but to notice the racket, whereupon John stepped into the hall and to his father. He (Robert), with a firm plan to turn this loser of a son into something decent. And in order to reach this, so he knew, he had to blackmail Caroline's angel! To force him to it! With which was simple. At the same night, as John wanted to calm his father down and bring him to bed, he threatened him that he would not take William's place at this point and he would provide to bring his mother in a home for women in need of care - far away from London! But not a good and highly qualified one - oh no! The same applied to his mother if he dared to lose a word about it in front of her! John obeyed once again, from the love of his mother, because he knew that his father was very unpredictable if risked and that certain contacts, thanks to his professional career, would very well come to good. 

Thus in September of the same year (1873) he started to begin with his foredoomed medicine study instead of starting his education as a shipwright. Caroline did not understand why and how this change of heart came to be and, above all, the sudden exchange of interest from John for medicine as well as Robert's interest for his second son...   
However, she had a very bad supposition...  
Though she found out nothing from both. (For the time being) Robert stopped to drink and John tried to assure her that this was his true way. Father was right all along. But also because he could look after her even better, due to the learned knowledge. John tried to 'sell' it (his reasons why) as good as he possibly could to his mother, however she could see in his eyes (like he saw it in hers), that it was not the truth as well as it was not his (her) wish to do this step (no matter which consequences it might bring!) All the encourage helped nothing. Caroline neither knew inwards nor outwards. What she knew however was that Robert would not listen to her. He didn't do this long since. But who could she talk to?

The only person that occurred once more stood completely out of question! It had been years over years since the last time they heard from each other let alone changed a word. And after this one night they fell into an almost infinite silence. How should she dare to write him only in her need NOW? This did not mean that William hadn't been informed about certain things. She was sure that John Sutton had probably informed him about the 'most important' incidents. But he lost no word about the same friend if one saw itself. No, this one time she would keep William away from this game... although she never told him that the boy she and her husband carried to grave had been his! No she just simply wasn't able!   
Did it even mattered now?   
He was happy with Mina... wasn't he?   
He had a life and a very good one too! As well as she heard from the dentist, William finally owned his own practice. And who was she to take this all from him by telling him the truth?

No, one preserved silence! Again years moved into the country. Years in which John became more of a shadow of himself. The study dragged itself increasingly. Besides, he lacked the zest as well as the highly skilled mind of his brother which Robert made him feel over and over again! He kept comparing how fast William learned, how quickly he understood something etc...   
By John's rather bad replacing, his father even started to control him properly. What he ate, when and how much. How much he slept and when he had to learn. It didn't interested Robert how much this torture dragged the boy's health and that, with full consciousness, he risked to lose him like Will once. Caroline did not fail to notice and she kept asking to slack the grip of his reins. She almost begged her husband, but he however left her on her own when he wasn't shouting at her to stay out of this. 

And again these arguments went to the health of Mrs. Lessing. Although she was surprised by a wave of vitality, which allowed her to leave the house again and held on for two years, the precipitation should hit harder than one had expected. Because Caroline fell, inexplicably for the family, ill with tuberculosis. (1878) For the beginning she kept it as a secret. Particularly for John, which she couldn't managed for long. Over and over again she choked and spitted out more and more blood! And soon it was not possible for her to hide her suffering. While John's worry and above all fear for his mother grew more and more, Robert however saw his wife's illness as a new option prove himself medically for the last time, for example with the already outdated methods and techniques of the pneumothorax (and pneumolysis).   
Besides, Robert furthermore gleaned that since 1855 there was a Tuberculosis sanitarium (lung welfare site) in the Lower Silesian village Görbergs and suggested Caroline to bring her there, since one advised him in unison to not apply the old methods anymore. And for the very first time John recommended his father's recommendations, although Mrs. Lessing did not think about leaving her son and England for this far! She refused and insured that, with some patience, a recovery would be possible in their home garden as well. John asked her imploringly, but did not manage his mother to return! Thus he took the necessary action and literally looked after her himself, which did not come 'to good' for his studies. And if destiny didn't affected this family enough already, another sideswipe was given. Because even John should, as a subsequent due to his self-sacrificing care, be pinned by the illnesses, even though not in the same degree as his mother YET! 

Unfortunately all the good and form hope did not help and Mrs. Lessing should disappear from this world forever, one day before the holy evening! (1878) The deepest blow in the life of the young John Lessing. This tear in his heart seemed incurable, with which the Christmas fest from now on (and for the first) seemed to be anything but joyful. But even Robert was hit by this loss, although he didn't really showed it. Since yes, no matter what had happened, he loved his wife from the very first moment! ONLY her all alone!   
At the time she passed away he was not present and therefore, the chance to ask her for forgiveness for everything he had done was denied. It was also Robert who took care of the funeral and exceptionally stopped to harass his son for his TOO sentimental heart. Over and over he withdrew into his mother's bedroom, looked at pictures of her, read old letters and diary entries in which she spoke of him and his childhood. With it he found, by chance, a secret compartment inside her drawer which contained another book named 'Forever you'. These entries, these memories were valid for just one, quite special man - William Argar!   
John, who had only paged through the book, began to read the last lines of his mother - "I've never forgotten you and now will wait for you at a better place!" and did not understand. Only after he took the time to read it completely, the scales would fall from his eyes. Because now he knew about her biggest secret she had while still alive - her love and and child to and from William - his 'uncle Will'!   
The Lessing offspring did not know whether he should be shattered, outraged or sad about this new knowledge, but one thing was certain - his father would go berserk! Still... should at least HE finally tell this to the man who inwardly and eternally loved his mother? Should he reveal that the brother he had and who treated him so inhumanly wasn't 100% his own flesh and blood? He did not know...

Like his believed brother before, Caroline was buried in the family crypt as well. It was a very small circle of persons, whom the secret lover of Mrs. Lessing stayed away from. Robert, as well as John Sutton had informed him (William Argar) about her death, but never received a reaction.   
Though there was one anyway! On the day he received Robert's letter, his world broke in two and his heart died like Caroline's had before! Therefore he was simply not able to stand with his friends on the grave of the beloved woman whom he could never have! 

Only days, almost weeks later in which the 'everyday life' would take place again, he ventured to visit her grave alone, hoping not to meet Robert and his son John there. But exacly THIS should happen!   
Just as William had given his last tribute to the deceased lover, the two last Lessings approached. Robert noticed his old friend straight away, spoke and stopped him and asked why he only came now. Clearly emotional, William hesitated with an answer and explained that he, vocationally, had a lot to do and that some very special patients made it impossible for him to come. Not only was William emotionally outraged, also John was thanks to the circumstance of being face to face with the man who was the father of his 'brother'. What John and no one else knew was that Caroline sent a farewell letter to Will. In this she had finally described the full truth to her darling and at the same time asked him to quietly forgive her. Because he, and only he, would understand what the truth would have arranged... 

This was too much for John and he asked his father to forgive him. He'd wait for him further away. Robert approved it, nevertheless he did not understand and explained that the boy was TOO mawkish towards the old friend, with a rather pejorative smiling beyond his son's hearing. William however didn't understand this tone towards John and asked the former surgeon why he talked so derogatory about his son. And this should be a mistake...   
Robert further spoke about John while he laid the hand on the cold stone and name of his believed real son who shared the name with the man next to it. John had gone wrong and stupid. Not worth all the money and above that lifetime he had already placed in the rascal. But which choice would he still have now? William once - he was perfect. But his friend wouldn't be able to understand this, because he himself never had a son and the father of two girls was not comparable. Feeling the point clearly, William could not restrain likewise and mentioned that he would not have spoiled his son (like Robert did) and regretted this statement the moment it fell. Robert angered about this outrageous accusation. Since to him, the only one who had spoilt him was Caroline! She alone would've almost raised him to a weakling, just like John was one now, if he wouldn't have had intervened. She herself had always been TOO soft and had TOO MANY absurd ideas! Exactly THIS should kindle the crossfire, because Will could not allow Robert (husband or not) to talk like this about his angel! Hence it degenerated so far that Will, now larded with the same travesty and sarcasm, asked Robert whatever really had been so blind all these years?! He didn't understand what Will, with tears in his eyes and a bubbling fury inside his stomach, meant and wanted to escape as he told the plain truth, knowing that they wouldn't be friends anymore afterwards! 

And just as it should turn out, as John, still apart from his father, waited and saw (as well as heard!) how he began to yell like a savage and, with a lurch, tore the flowers of the grave of his mother. Robert asked Will if he was abounded by the spirits and what he claimed, however, he fell silent straight away as Will would bring out the letter. In a hurry he took it away from Will, flew over the lines which handwriting was definitely assigned with Caroline and swallowed hardly. He started to grind his teeth hardly which was clearly revealed by his cheek bones. In spite of this written proof he refused to believe the truth, instead he cursed more and demanded Will to leave immediately. He left and silently passed the waiting John in whose look he saw that he also knew about the truth. For a short moment John waited. He looked after Will and then back to his father again, until he decided to leave him alone and to go home instead. 

A home he would soonly not have in his life anymore... Since Robert captivated the alcohol once again and became more intolerable than ever!


	4. Part IV

The house of the Lessing's became quiet, almost 'lifeless' and seemed rather like a place of shadows of the old life's past. One did not find the charm that once lived with his mother any longer since her death and even John drifted his 'existence' before itself. More than usual to be precisely...  
He never lost a word about the incident again, back then at the grave of his mother and 'brother', towards his father and that had been good. Because Robert spent since a very long time no evening without whisky or cognac any longer!  
And even though John never began to like in his studies (He did all this, nevertheless, for his mother once), he still couldn't endure to see how it became more and more difficult for them to afford it, just like everything else in fact...  
Not only did Robert appropriate an alcohol problem, but also one that included gambling and for which he flogged the owned money!  
At the beginning John did not notice much of it, nevertheless he tried to find distraction for his still persistent grief. It seemed like there was TOO MUCH injustice on this world...  
Something else did not happen to him 'till this date. His mother could not be with the man she loved and who was good to her. The son was taken from his father who he loved so much and to him his mother, the only person HE was ever important to!

However, the first turn relating to it should arise very soon and showed the young man that destiny still held others things ready for him!  
Since just one month after his 23th birthday (1880) and on a Monday morning, as his father (Like so often before) wanted to look over his shoulder during work, John should meet a young woman who would put an end to his loneliness - for now!  
By a stock fire (from which many happened in the urban harbour) one searched volunteers, assistants, nurses as well as (beginning) doctors who would take care of the victims and injured people. And John was one of these volunteers. Thus on a 'nice' day, he would meet an 'helper' named - Majorie.  
She was about to distribute food as he crossed her way. To be exact he stood in her way due to the high bustle and badly cramped space in which they were located in. Marjorie apologised and passed him with her hands full with the sentence "Watch out - hot!". But the smile she gave him and her whole countenance hit John directly in the heart.  
Could it be? The same brown soft eyes?! The same honest smile?! 

It would've been measured to say that John would have owned a mother's complex, but it could not be denied that this young Miss here, very much and really very much, just resembled her! Thus he remained fossilized in the middle of the way and watched the foreign woman as she (in contrast to him) did her work. But John couldn't act differently...  
Only when Majorie asked that someone may bring her two napkins, John started to move again straight away. With big eyes and still a little bit staring at her he reached, furthermore silently, the wanted fabrics. The brunette smiled with thanks and also a bit surprised at the young man who looked at her so urgently and almost melancholy.  
And so she asked if something was wrong and if she could help and looked once more directly into his eyes.  
Once again John felt a joilt in his chest, so warm and pleasent it made his heart beat faster automatically. These brown eyes looked at him the way his mother had always told him! Just like she used to look at him...  
He remembers her words as if they were told just yesterday;

"Only look into the eyes that consider you as you were the most miraculous person of the world! Eyes with a look as warm as the sun and as endless as time!"

Because he was the most wonderful person for Caroline. The best she had ever done!  
And now he had the same feeling about the little person in front of him. Was this dreamy? Maybe!  
But how could one avoid to fall in love? And exactly THIS happened to the young Lessing in this moment!

And Fortuna should remain amusingly holding to him!  
The young woman, whose name was Marjorie Higgins, captivated to John and more and more replied to his feelings as well as attention. A bit reserved and careful in the beginning, as the etiquette claimed it, however more trust bit by bit.  
John could not believe his luck and was happy and cheerful for the very first time after his mother's death.  
At first he met Marjorie rather secretly and predominant in the scene of accident and and her work. Lessing Junior however paid attention that his father, if he should attend sometimes again, would not get to know this!  
Not that he really thought Robert would care for his life, his love and his future, till he would take in his place, but who knows what was proceeded by all the piss-up in the back room?!

Exactly this however would John get to know very soon and he would be anything but pleased! Fortuna should, nevertheless, leave him again...

Unsuspecting what should happen to him afterwards and on the 3rd of December, John took off the road to the Banning clinic in which he had acquired a test employment, as there were one searching for capable surgeons, doctors and physicians in general. Besides he really did not want to, just like his father before, always look out for a patron to finance him and to be depended by.  
The Banning clinic was the urban and praised 'madhouse' of London under the cloak of the 'holy place', that promised to heal one from all their sins and illnesses the mind could get!  
Dr. Adams, an old 'friend' of his father and even of Dr. Banning himself, had already waited for him. It was also him who would take him under his wings. Of course thanks to Robert's good persuasion!  
Dapperly and 'armed' with a medical bag he arrived at the clinic, examined it for a moment from the outside and took a deep breath. In spite of all he did not feel well, but what should he do?  
John entered the building which did not stand out or distinguished itself from other clinics/institutions.  
There prevailed a lively activity and some nurses whirred around as well as nuns. Briefly he stopped and politely asked one of the nurses where he could find Dr. Adams, on which she naturally gave him an answer. Thanking her, John started to move again, turned of and into a hall to reach the fourth floor. He surely would've liked to take the lift, but it had been out of order.  
Finally reaching the fourth floor, out of breath, John breathed deeply and realised that this part was rather dark and that the light bulbs died (as well)...  
He looked around to see which direction he would have to take (left or right) and got frightened immediately as a little girl out of nowhere stood in front of him. He gasped briefly and reproved himself internally, to be frightened by such a sweet small creature.  
John smiled at the girl (7y.) with the big black curls and noticed that she had a strange mark on her nose. But no, this was unambiguously a Vitiligo (pigment disorder) illness! He often had read about this but never seen it with his own eyes.  
The little one however remained quiet and just looked at the stranger in front of her. John held his smile and squatted down to her. She was probably lost and certainly was here with her parent?! SUCH a young child, dressed so delicate and noble like this, would not be imprisoned here, or?  
He loved children very much and absolutely wanted to have (hopefully with Marjorie) some of his own one day, so he aimed at taking care for this sweet brat, quickly before he would finally visit Dr. Adam.  
Warily he asked if she got lost and where her parents would be as well as if he could help her. The girl remained silent. She just looked at him (almost urgently and regretful). Once again John discovered that what fascinated him about deeply brown eyes. Of course not in the same way as his mother once or like Marjorie now, but the eyes of the child in front of him were... they were...  
It became impossible to describe!  
Yet he felt something weird in his chest, his stomach area and could not understand. Why did the little Miss make him feel so peculiar and so incomprehensible trusting?

Just as he wanted to ask her something once again, she would express her first and only words to him, which he would not forget too fast - "Soon..." she breathed and added with another small break something she could impossibly know...  
His name: "John!"  
John's eyes widened all of a sudden! How could she know what he's called and... Pardon? Soon? What should this mean?  
Just as he wanted to ask why and how, two doors opened. Directly behind and the other far before him.  
Dr. Adams, who just stepped in precisely at that moment to look after him, addressed to him in the same second as another person, a woman, in the other (dark) gait spoke to/shouted at the little girl. This lead to him not understanding her name, since he gave his hearing to Dr. Adams.  
The curly-head hastened away, but just as she reached the woman (who seemed to be her mother) and was taken by her hand and the young Lessing turned around to her one last time, he swallowed clearly hard with what his eyes got to see next!  
Did he imagine it or were the eyes, was the look of this (innocent) child so empty, so white like... like what? Like an endless tunnel in the dark of the night?!  
As if it was not from this world...?  
No! THAT was absolutely absurd! His eyes were playing, thanks to the lack of light in this hall compartment, nothing else!

John turned to his future superior again and stepped inside his office with him. But even there was a surprise waiting for him. There were other gentlemen which he, nevertheless, only knew one who was his name giver - John Sutton. The other two were a clearly older man with his (seemingly) son (12y). A quite thin and pale fellow with very reddened eyes. He rather hid behind his father and seemed not quite happy to be here. Dr. Adams and John Sutton welcomed him however and introduced the young Lessing to the visitor and his offspring. John found out that this man was the very famous baron and doctor - Dr. Frankenstein. A leading authority in this field. One shared to him that Dr. Frankenstein was only there to show his son around in the clinic - early practise itself - and to visit the old friend of Dr. Adam's family. John smiled friendly at the Frankenstein's boy, however got not back the gesture. On the contrary, Victor, the boy's name, scrutinised him instead and asked his father to shift the private chatting to another time, since he was here to look at the clinic and patients and not to exchange anecdotes or meet wildly strangers!  
'Charmingly' the 'little one', indeed! - John thought when one followed the toddler's wish.

Baron Dr. Frankenstein and his son therefore recommended themselves and nearly committed an exchange with Robert Lessing. He however, hardly after the two Frankenstein left, stormed into the office of his old colleague and mentor Adam - completely drunk!  
Those present, in particular his son John, could not trust their eyes.  
Robert staged and stumbled immensely and explained his impossible invading as well as his behaviour with the urgent to talk with his friend John Sutton. Dr. Adams however found his appearance absolutely unbearable and showed Mr. Lessing straight away!  
He may leave the room and clinic immediately in his state. Robert though began to beg the dentist to come with him, it'd be important! He would need money! He couldn't wait for his good-for-nothing son to finally get his post in order to procure an income, he'd need it now - the bets would be good!  
His son John as well as the friend with the same name could not believed what was carried to them. Also not Dr. Adam!  
John Sutton was shocked. How could his old friend let himself go like this? Exposing himself in front of a respectable doctor like Adam and making a fool of his son?  
Thus he intervened, packed Robert on the arm and pulled him before the door and therefore the clinic.  
Unfortunately it was anything but quiet nor proper, which is why Adam had no chance but to apologetic explain the young Lessing that no cooperation would develop. Not under these circumstances AND not like he had hoped! He regretted it very much! But he and the clinic would lose their reputation. 

John sighed and left disappointed and with fury in the belly the building. How could his father do this? Just why?  
In front of the clinic he took his name relative's turn, in spite of the displeasure of his producer and brought him home.  
But instead of coming to his sense, Robert took the final straw when he explained their current situation to his son and what he did with the money, the property and the estates. He gambled away everything!  
He even had to take out a mortgage for the house since he had bet TOO high and risky. The only thing they had left was the approved name. Although Robert endangered it, thanks to today's actions as well.  
Nevertheless, only to his call as a doctor it should be owed that Adams wanted to take John under his wings. Robert himself had not been able to practise a long time ago since his shivering became a daily permanence.  
Father and son got into an argument in which John told him (no matter how) that it simply couldn't go on like this! His father however waved everything aside, reached to his liquid drug once again and gave nothing at all of the younger's opinion!  
But wait a minute?! Why shouldn't John's youth come both to good?

Yes! THIS was their way out of the plight as the former surgeon thought! He was a genius!  
Pulling himself up again he interrupted John and said to him that he wished he marries. He knew a few very good parts of single ladies with enough money to completely change their situation. They might weren't the prettiest and some were already widows, but the end justifies the way, right?  
Once more he could not believe what his father said and above all demanded!  
Not just that his heart had been taken already, even if it wasn't that, he would and could not enter the bond of marriage under such circumstances, no matter what they were!  
Thus he asked his father if he was out of his mind and that he could not demand this from him, Robert however, despite the alcohol again with absolutely spiritual presence, merely gave a laugh. Of course he'd be able and do so! Who did his son imagine was in charge?!  
He had no other choice if he didn't want to live on the street! John however still refused vehemently and told his father that he already had a bride into view and nothing on earth would stop him to marry her!  
Robert was amazed and at the same time surprised. His son the loser and a girl? Ha!  
Nevertheless, he directly questioned if she was well-to-do and if the wedding would be useful, which Robert denied straight away. He did not care what Marjorie was. To him the money was not important.  
Mr. Lessing did not have the delight for this discussion since the result would not be satisfying for both of them, and so he decided to literally point the gun at his son's chest.  
He threatened him that, if he would not marry a woman he selects for him, this house, this family would no longer be his. He would erase him out of the family tree and and take anything from him that reminded him of his so beloved mother! He'd land in the deepest darkest alley if the money was not so important to him as he claimed... 

However, exactly THIS accepted John!  
Affronting his father, despite all the things he would lose, he turned on his father's wheel, packed his few possessions and left the house!  
Forever!  
Still... what would Marjorie say? Would she still want him, now that he was and had much less than before?  
Yes she would. Marjorie herself wasn't exactly what one would call well-to-do. Strictly one of the lower ranks. Her parents had passed away early and she lived merciful-wise with her aunt, who rather tolerated instead of wanting her.  
When her beloved John told her about his grief and the consequences that came within, she assured him that there was nothing that could separate her from him. She even agreed to marry him nevertheless. At least she had the choice between a life with him or with her aunt... the decision was easy!

John had made his decision and had to pay a high price for it. Not because of the loss of his father, rather because of his origin's loss and the loss of his mother. But he knew that this is what she would've wanted! She would have wanted him to become happy and Marjorie made him more than felicitous!  
It clearly was a radical incision in his life, the first however not the last!  
With very little savings he could hide from his father and that of Marjorie, they could find accommodation in different pubs here and there.  
He also gave up his surname and changed it to the maiden name of his mother - Flowers.  
Thus he and Marjorie decided to first of all start their new life outside from London. Also to lower the waves in town and maybe to get a bit into oblivion...  
Besides, since he couldn't call a friendship his own, it was not difficult for him to adjust on his new life. With it he did not miss his father. Even worries about him were missing.  
But what about William Agar and John Sutton - the only 'friends' of the family he knew? He would never see them again!

Furthermore he urgently had to find a job, now that his studies were lapsing and all the years of learning were just a waste of time. But here he did not regret his decision as well. However, where should he introduce himself? He had never learnt a real trade or such?! In any regard he could not work as a doctor, this was out of the question!  
Luckily in the farm land, one needed men who understood to seize hardly what came to his goods.  
They remained far from London for a year until, due to a fatal crop failure, one could not afford more workers. So they had to go back to the capital. 

As 'chance' brought it about, he got to know by the weekly urban paper that the Banning clinic was looking for orderlies for the mental patients during the night. A rather well-paid (as well as dangerous) job not many wanted to do! What an irony...  
Now he should work where he was turned down before... Therefore he'd pay attention not to face Dr Adams. John had too many doubts and worries about him taking up contact with his father!  
John let himself shorten his hair up to 1 millimeter and applied for the department which he would also get. This would not only mean that he now could bear for Marjorie, himself and their life, but also to search for a firm residence with the money. And they found it in a small yet fine room above the Chinese Mahjong house.  
Whatever one believed it or not, in spite of the circumstances and the few things they had they were happy.  
So happy that Marjorie was soon of good hope and John could hardly believe his luck.  
Unfortunately the first glimmer of hope should not remain more than this, since his meanwhile fiancée lost the child. Still one saw positively into the future and married inconspicuously and without marriage witnesses or celebration in July of 1882.  
In the following the future should be merciful to them and allow Marjorie to be pregnant once again in October of the same year.

 

Thus, in the following year she bore a healthy and strong boy, in the same month as the two got married! The little sunshine was baptized Jack! After the kind father of his beloved mother, whom he never got to meet. Now his life seemed finally, and for the first time, be truly perfect! And even though he leads poorer life, than the one he was born in, now, he lacked for nothing! His wife and his son were all he ever wanted and needed! Even his work grew more to him, despite the ever-present misery and sorrow. Now his study should come in good too. At least now and again since most people thought of him as dumb. But he himself didn't say anything and better left them in their belief. Even said so of himself more and more. He never was proud of his study and he didn't prove intellect with it. His strength laid in emotional power more so than in logic and operative finesse. The true talents of his were to care for others and bring them joy. But those weren't traits a doctor used often. 

So years went by in which John should not think back to his past life. Only six years later he got over himself and visited his father's old house, because his son asked to meet his grandfather. However John noted that the house stood empty, downright sacked. His father nowhere to be found. But it seems, according to a neighbour, the old Lessing fell victim to his gambling. Debt holders insisted on their money, which Robert apparently couldn't pay, thus it was arranged for him to 'pay' in another way!  
John also dared to go the graveyard and visit the family grave, visit his mother. Sadly he was met with a surprise here as well. In all of his rage over John's decision to leave him and the family, Robert let the crypt be demolished, thus completely destroying the mortal remains of his mother/wife and his 'brother/son' and forbid them their 'holy peace'! And it was THIS that hit John deeply. Even when he got to know that his father didn't just leave the house but was dead as well, his heart was never as hurt as when faced with the fact of never being able to visit his mother ever again. How Robert died, nobody knew for sure. Some said he drunk himself to death, others said they saw him falling out of a window. What happened to his corpse was also not known (anymore)...After all an official crypt didn't exist anymore... 

Thus he told his son the truth and that his grandfather had died, however he should not ask further questions. Jack preserved this, regretted it nevertheless.  
However his grandfather, or probably both of the little Jack's, remained so strongly in memories that each day he worked with his father on their fine model ships he thought about them. Just like them and John, Jack was also very enthusiastic about this activity. Full of pride they could even present some very nice models!  
Yes, the small family seemed happy and perfect, up to the day (at the beginning of July, 1891) as John got a new patient in the clinic for the night guard/care who would misdirect his life which would 'doom' his destiny, no, but which would also let him meet the best friend he should ever have in life - his soulmate - Vanessa Ives!  
As well as Jack who, shortly before his eight birthday, suddenly suffered from a heavy cough which would later cost his life!

Miss Ives would, who lost herself and her faith in the world and especially god more and more, stay at the Banning clinic for 5 months. For John she was one of, no, the most unusual, strongest and fascinating person he had ever met. And the more he took care of her (more and more friendly than he was obliged to), and in spite of their 'growing pains' his heart was not able around this woman to give her a place in it. He could not even really tell why, out of all people it was her, but he knew that all this 'trouble' was worth it!  
And so he told Marjorie about Miss Ives and asked his wife to do one good thing in this prison for her maybe. Without hesitation Marjorie agreed and even lent him her cosmetics and her hand mirror, as well as the child poetry book they were given by their neighbour for Jack's birth. Since John had brought in experience that Miss Ives (in contrast to him) liked poetry very much, he felt it was a good choice to make the oppressive night in her cell more bearable and if it's only for some hours on this one day (25.12.1891)!  
John really did everything in his power to help Miss Ives and to make it clear that, if she ever wants to get away from this place, she should 'give' Dr. Banning what he wanted, for her and for the 'love' of him.  
Unfortunately hoping did not help and Miss Ives was given the worst of all treatments (torture). For John this was not further acceptable. Both emotionally and morally! This woman became TOO important for him as if he could bear to look at her, slobbering and as an empty human shell in her cell! Even if this meant that he could (at least as he thought) never see Miss Ives again!  
Without telling his family he quit his employment, although he was very depended on it, which he even told Vanessa once. But it simply couldn't go on anymore...

Nevertheless, the fear of telling his wife and son should be taken from John since Marjorie sympathized for his motives, for which John was more than thankful of! This meant to find a new workplace. But also here one did not had to wait for long and Mr. Flowers found something in the local haven as an on-and off loader of freight for cold storages. How lucky - was thought in the house Flowers, one should quick wander.  
The extreme cold John was deferred to from the moment for more than 12 hours as well as the lack of warming clothes (like fur, coats and high-quality wool). PLUS the illness of his child, which he had daily contact with, attacked his immune system considerably. Every day more and more on which Marjorie insisted that he should visit a doctor. But exactly such one could not be afforded, since they needed the rest of the money for Jack's medicine.

At the beginning, John just tried to keep himself warm better. Drank much tea or just hot water, that should warm from the inside. But it was all in vain. Through a colleague at work, who also made mark of John's suffering, he got to know that now and again there's always an upstarting Doctor in the poorer districts or at the train station at the cholera shelters, who'd examine one with little to no payment. Thankful, he took this advice and made his way to visit some of those places. His first try was in one of the poor districts (there were enough of them in london, sadly) in Westend and, to his luck, he immediately found what he was looking for.  
It was quite lively in the former storage space. John made his way through the chaotic crowd and eventually found a free seat. He was quite flabbergasted when the fairly young doctor turned around to quickly (and rather bored at that) introduce himself as (soon to be) Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  
John squinted. Could it really be? Is that supposed to be the rascal he met years ago in the Banning clinic? It seemed quite so! John got himself examined and explained Frankenstein why he came. He spared himself the vaccines. Victor hesitated but accepted it. One less that made him work. Dry and almost morbid he laid out what exactly the old man had to deal with. If he doesn't leave the London quickly and get back to the countryside his chances to survive next year would sink drastically. But even then, the chance are pretty slim. It hit John hard and almost didn't know what to say as Victor already 'exchanged' him for the next patient. What should John do now? He couldn't simply leave his home, could he? Jack went to school here and had friends! No he'd find another way. After all even doctors make mistakes! He decided to not tell his family anything at first. Told them it wasn't that 'bad'. But Frankenstein remained right and not even 3 weeks later John went to Westend once again. It was even more chaotic this time, since the people of London would get their vaccines free today. Not just Cholera roamed free, but countless other deadly diseases that endangered the whole city. He searched for the young doctor, who, to his luck, was also present again. This time even accompanied by a 'colleague' or so it seemed. A doctor by the name of "Waldman" worked directly next to him and tried his best to assure a patient that he would not kill him, just wanting to help him. Victor, in contrast, was just as annoyed as when they first met. And again he told the older man the same thing as he had told him the last time. But just as John begged him to find another way, no matter how, the situation at the table next to them escalated. Dr. Waldman's wild patient lost his composure and began to violently flail around like a wild animal. It got so bad that he took the doctor's scalpel and stabbed it right into his heart. Startled and panic, thanks to the event, John left the hall as quickly as possible and only saw the police and emergency forces arrive in the turmoil. 

Again he could not go away. But he couldn't move again. It would be the best if he would find a new employment... (once more!)  
This time it would not go favourable and John remained dry for two weeks which led to not being able to pay the rent a second time, which became due weekly. Marjorie's small contribution did not suffice and barely covered Jack's medicine and some food.  
But suddenly there was a glimmer at the horizon...  
The Flowers heard that one urgently needed men for the construction of a new industrial steam engine for producing gearwheels and such from 'Marks and Son', on which John immediatly applied for a job which, to their joy, he would get two days later. More than confidently he hoped to follow this job more than the last one, although this one was more difficult than everything he had done before. For that he would not get a cold so fast again, in spite of the rather chill weather. Nevertheless, his lungs were weakened immensely and he spitted almost regularly blood. He tried to make it unnoticed and to hide it furthermore. One would pay no ill man! 

On March 22, 1892 it seemed that winter would hold the parting delayed after spring (like every year) officially moved on March the third. John said goodbye to his family, kissed wife and son waved with an anticipation for today's evening. Exactly this he would not live to see...  
Marjorie, who waited like every day during the week for Jack, had after a long time confidence again that their way would not become stony again. However, her hopes disappeared like a bursting soap bubble that evening as two strange men knocked at her door. At first she thought it would be John, but he wouldn't knock recently?!  
Even Jack stepped at the door curiously when he saw the depressed faces of the men, who would tell them the worst thing they could think of!  
There would've been an accident at one of the new air pressure kettles on which her husband has worked on and...  
They did not spake further! The painful facts spoke for themselves - John was dead!

In unmensurable seconds Marjorie's eyes widened and her body began, in spite of the sudden stiffness, to tremble like aspen leaves!  
The gentlemen at the door knew that the death messages could not be described in words and held it for better to leave again. The things were like they were - that's life!  
It was not necessary to tell the widow Flowers more instructions one dealt in such a case, everyone knew what 'has to be done'. And Marjorie knew it very well! But did she also understand?  
No! No - THIS - THIS would, no could not be simply accepted! So not Jack who stood rooted next to his mother and suddenly shouted at the top of his voice for his father, tearfully, and hurried after the men!  
Despairing like a victim of drowning, the little one clung to the coating of one of the bearers and sank on his knees. It was urgently missing that they both have lied! They should say that they were wrong and that nothing has happened to his father!  
It was his first day and he had to become healthy again!  
Moreover he promised him to take him to the Highlands, just like in his book from school! How is he supposed to do that if he is taken away from him?!  
The men looked down at the skinny boy and swallowed hardly. It would have been a lie that this reaction didn't hit them in through all their bones and especially right into the heart!  
But they couldn't do anything! Thus the right one removed Jack from himself and asked him to better go back to his mother again, however he only shook his head and furthermore sobbed that it wasn't fair! That he would have to go to his father! He would have to help him - save him! He wasn't dead! He couldn't be dead!

But hardly that Jack hastened away once more, his mother streched her hand joltingly after him, with a pleading cry to stand still! For nothing!  
Automatically Marjorie ran after Jack. Out of the house to the industrial area which, as the boy reached it, was still full of excitement. Onlookers were everywhere to get a look out of curiosity, the fire brigade and police tried to sort things out and the press craved for a new headline.  
And through all the people the little one pushed himself whose eyes occured red because of all the tears. It truly was a disaster!  
Apparently his father wasn't the only 'affected' person. The whole place seemed to burn. Metalwork, scrap wood and components were lying in the water. It was hot and musty due to the smoke which burned in the eyes. And yet in his desperate, Jack started to shout for his beloved father. He had to be around here! Certainly! If he was only loud enough and attentive as well he would certainly find him healthy!  
Again and again he ran around, shouted and was rarely considered by the adults or was brought to the edge due to the events, one had to do enough in this misfortune! Marjorie had not tried to stop her son. She knew that, when she arrived the place, it wouldn't bring anything. Jack had to realise it for himself. And yet it would have been a lie to say that deep in her heart she wouldn't have hoped for a miracle!  
She watched as the rescue workers pulled men out of the halls and from the water. But not each of them was rescued alive...  
The shivering returned once more and again she swallowed hardly and dry. Carefully she pursued it and the more one made headway to the events, the more 'thinned out'.  
But still no track of John was seen! Had he escaped somewhere else? Or was he possibly at home again while they were here and prayed?

Marjorie should get her answers (as well as Jack), but unfortunately those were completely different from what she had feared!  
After one finally managed to put an end to the fire and located the employees (dead or alive), one sadly had to detect that not everyone was found. Three workers remained vanished. Among them - John!  
Even after two days of fear and hope the search seemed unsuccessful! They gave up on it. The weather became, in spite of the beginnig of spring icy, especially at night and one resigned with the fact that the three men were torn up by the fire and explosions, because no track of them was found. Apart from the fact that one did not really put effort into it since they were just 'workers' and not really important for the society!  
And with this inexpressibly fact, Marjorie as well as Jack had to resign themselves! Something Jack did not want nor could!  
With a ship and a shirt of his father he crawled in the very back corner of his father's bedside where the tears seemed to come to no end. He even forgot to take his drops against his cough. Now that his father was no more with him, did he hope to see him soon if he died as well?! 

However, in all the pain and grief Marjorie was forced to continue to think. She had to inhume John worthy - no matter with or without corpse! Now SHE was the sole breadwinner for Jack and herself. But what should she do? She never learned craftsmanship as well besides a bit of embroidery and sewing. And how should she pay for Jack's medicine? How should she afford these rooms in rather well-arranged surroundings by herself?

Meanwhile someone else had other worries! By the newspaper, young doctor Victor Frankenstein had got to know about the misfortune by the steaming machines. However, he saw it less as a misfortune. That was the way things went. It was that easy! This tragedy should introduce him a personal luck and determine his destiny at the same time! 

By his recently murdered mentor Dr. Waldman he found out the secrets of the eternal life - the immortality!  
At first he tested the methods on single limbs like arms, legs or animals (frogs and rodents) and was indeed succesfull! This inspired his arrogance and his determination that he'd finally wanted - no had to - take god's step!  
And although he 'helped out' the mortuaries of the slums and did researches it was not legally allowed to estrange a corpse for such purposes, no matter whetever these were murderer, rapists and criminals of land and crown nobody would miss.  
This was exactly what he needed!  
Raw material like he called it for a greater good! A game with god! No - not to play god - to be god!

In the evening of March the 25th, as he visited the morgue for the scum and forgotten ones of London once more, he saw as two workers brought 'supplies' with their carts. Immediately a revolting smell got into his nose. It always smelt unbearably for most down here, but when decay and rotten fish got mixed up it was too much, even for him! Curiously he came closer and, without asking, tore away the blanket to see what or rather who spread this stench. It was a man of middle age and... wait, he knew this man didn't he?  
Like lighting he remembered his workk in the west end and this man who came to him for his lungs. But could it be the same?  
This one was pale with black lips and shades under the eyes. Typical symptoms of a drowned corpse that was found in the cold. The right side, from the man's perspective, of his face was torn apart, as if a rusty saw blade had hit him and immediately Victor came to the conclusion that this had be one of the victims from the incident a few days ago! He asked the bearers who had brought him here where they had found him and if they knew who he was. The answer should confirm Frankenstein's presumption about the place of discovery, but the identity was not known.  
But, as the rules prescribed, one would wait two more days if someone would report to know/look for this man. Afterwards he would be buried in an anonymous mass grave.

Victor understood and still offered to take the dead, as he said, at least to partly fix the face. At last, if members were found, one would not overtax much more than it was 'anyway'...  
Besides, his 'good will' was nothing more than pure self-interest!  
He knew exactly that no one would report oneself with such 'findings' and that the chances were higher to become king of England rather than find someone who would take care of the corpse!  
He found his perfect object for practise!  
To get the corpse in his lab, after the fixed time, was his smallest problem and some extra pounds should serve this!  
And exactly SO it should come...  
On March 27th the nameless fund was brought to his lab in Southbank - Chathams 17.  
There victor proceeded his 'material' and stored it on ice. He realised that he was right once again. It really was the man from the lest whose lungs were eaten.  
the man's heart was undamaged - 'luckily'!  
Therefore he only had to swap one organ to guarantee that his experiment would success rather than fail.  
But just like the corpse itself, organ trade was also illegal - even for doctors!  
But he knew exactly what he had to do here!  
And so, a few days later he crept into the mortuary in which Dr. Waldman's remains were kept, since one waited to bring his corpse back to Ingolstadt, he smeared the watchman once more with 'your majesty of the queen' and took what he needed - a healthy functional lung! 

The only thing he needed now was an enorm thunderstorm to fulfil his work and his destiny and the one of his newly created creature forever!

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
